Beautiful Disaster

Each Valentine's Day since 2007 has been a rollercoaster of emotions. The couple days leading up to February 14 reminds me of the nervousness of getting in the cart, buckling up, and then hearing the clicking noise of the track as I'm on my way up the hill, anticipating the huge drop. I feel my stomach do a few flips. And then it's over. Wham. Bam. Thank you, ma'am! Here's the story as to why:

My great-grandparents, Emma "Ma" and Oscar "Pa Paw" Hensley, married in 1935 and raised six kids together in the hills of Breathitt County Kentucky. To make ends meet, Pa Paw worked as a woodworker who specialized in chairs. It's rumored in our family that he made the famous JFK rocking chair and sold it to one of JFK's "people" while at a craft show.

Digressing...while they didn't have a perfect marriage (who does?!) they had the type of marriage I yearn to have one day; one in which you stay together against all odds. Pa Paw was a very strong and stubborn man and Ma was a a typical sweet, Southern belle. They balanced each other out and worked well as a team.
Note: It's also rumored in our family that he passed down the stubborn gene to my Grandma Cora to my dad to me, but again, that's just a rumor and can't be proven.

I was hanging out at a friend's house on a chilly Spring night in 1997 when I received a phone call from my dad asking what time I was going to be home. When I asked what time he wanted me home, he answered, "Now!" Something was wrong. I got home and found my dad sitting on the couch with the look of disbelief, and my sister and mom next to him in tears. Pa Paw passed away.

Pa Paw was a very quiet, but strong natured man. I have pictures of him holding me when I was a toddler and we were both smiling, but a sincere smile; not one that was posed for the camera. But the memories I have of him that weren't taken from old photographs were of his stance and body language because I only recall ever hearing him say a hand full of words. 

Nearly 10 years later. Valentine's Day of 2007. I was sitting at work and thinking of my "hot" date I had planned that night. My roommate, Charlene, and I were going to make dinner and watch a movie. I received a phone call from my sister and knew immediately something bad happened when she could barely choke out, "Cathleen?" My heart sank. "Ma died." Although she was 91 years old and lived a full and happy life, my heart broke. 

Ma was the most amazing woman I have ever known. She was optimistic, she was kind, she was realistic, she was independent, she was beautiful, she was hardworking, she was accepting, she was loving and she was witty. Ahhhh...that's where I get my sense of humor from! Just a few years before she passed away, my cousin Rickie invited a foreign exchange student to have Thanksgiving dinner with us. Although Ma needed assistance with the simplest tasks, she did not just want to make our guest feel comfortable, but she was adamant about making his plate for him and passed him a different dish as often as she could and refused to let him leave the table until he could not eat one more bite. 

Sitting at dinner with Char, there was an awkward silence between us. I was in mourning and she was hurting after a guy she was dating broke up with her...on VALENTINE'S DAY! Jerk. Wrapped up in my own thoughts, I realized something fantastic and a smile came across my face. Ma didn't want to be away from her Valentines for another year. Yes, I said "Valentines" (plural) because she had two lovers. She had a long running affair with God. She was tired of being lonely and wanted to be with them.

I imagined her reading her Bible, straightening her bun, putting on her angel wings, and cooking a delicious Valentine's Day dinner for her two loves consisting of fried chicken, green beans, corn bread, soup beans, corn, and Watergate cake. I imagined her serving their dinner and making sure they finished eating before she sat down to enjoy her own Southern cooking. That's what I picture her doing each Valentine's Day.

Every February 14, I feel the high of the loving ambiance in the air and I feel the low of not having such an influential couple in my life anymore and I feel the rush of them being with their soul mate and I feel the twist of the joyful memories I have of them. I have named this rollercoaster I ride, Beautiful Disaster. That's exactly what it is, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Ma and Pa Paw: Thank you for molding me into the person I am today. Thank you for your unconditional love, for my wonderful Kentucky vacation memories, for always having food on the table, for your strong work ethic, for sitting on a homemade rocking chair on the front porch and reminiscing for hours, for your belief that a woman should take care of her man, for teaching me life's joys are all about the little things, for sharing your faith, and for being YOU! These tears are tears of joy. Thank you. Love you. Miss you!

“One person can make a difference and every person should try.” - JFK
Happy Valentine's Day!

Disclaimer: Some details in the story may not be completely accurate, but this story isn't about the details; it's about the message.